What Does It Mean to Be a Certified EFT Therapist?

If you’ve ever looked for couples therapy and noticed phrases like “EFT-informed,” “trained in EFT,” or “uses Emotionally Focused Therapy,” you might have wondered what those actually mean—and whether they really matter.

It’s a fair question. Especially when you’re in a vulnerable place in your relationship, it makes sense to want to understand the training and experience of the person you’re working with.

So let’s talk about what EFT certification actually involves—and why it can matter for couples.

What Is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT)?

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is an evidence-based approach to couples therapy grounded in attachment theory. At its core, EFCT focuses on emotional safety, connection, and the patterns couples get stuck in when things feel difficult or disconnected.

Rather than focusing on who’s right or wrong, or simply teaching communication techniques, EFCT looks underneath conflict to understand:

• Why certain arguments feel so intense
• What each partner is longing for or protecting
• How painful interaction patterns keep repeating

EFT helps couples move out of blame, defensiveness, and emotional shutdown and toward greater understanding, responsiveness, and closeness.

“EFT-Informed” vs. Certified: What’s the Difference?

You’ll often see therapists describe themselves as EFCT-informed or EFCT-trained. While there’s no formal or regulated definition of what it means to be “EFT-informed,” this typically indicates that a therapist has some familiarity with the model—often through reading, self-study, or attending workshops that may or may not be sanctioned by the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT), the global organization founded by Dr. Sue Johnson that oversees training, research, and standards for EFT.

According to ICEEFT, an EFT therapist is someone who has completed the foundational EFT training, known as the Externship. Therapists who complete additional training beyond this foundational level may be described as EFT therapist – additional training.

Certification in EFT, however, is something different.

EFT certification requires a rigorous, multi-year process that includes advanced training, ongoing supervision, and the formal review of recorded therapy sessions (with client consent). This process is designed to ensure that a therapist not only understands the theory of EFT, but can apply the model with skill, consistency, and fidelity in real couples therapy.

In other words, certification isn’t about being familiar with EFT or incorporating parts of it into practice. It’s about being thoroughly trained, carefully evaluated, and having demonstrated the ability to use the model effectively and responsibly.

When You’re Loved, Flaws and All

There’s a line near the end of Can You Keep a Secret? that makes my therapist heart happy. Emma says:

“My whole life I always based my value on what other people thought of me. I met you, and I told you everything about me. I told you all my secrets, and you didn’t leave. Even though you knew all my goofiness and my weirdness and all my fears and insecurities… you didn’t leave. I didn’t know anything about you, but it didn’t matter, because I knew your heart. You made me believe that I could be loved just by being myself.”

That perfectly describes what secure attachment feels like — to be completely known, flaws and all, and still feel loved and accepted.

When we’re securely attached, we don’t have to keep proving our worth or hide the parts of ourselves we fear are “too much” or “not enough.” Love becomes a place of safety, not performance.

That’s the transformation Emma experiences — she moves from chasing approval to allowing herself to be seen. The miracle isn’t that Jack loves her; it’s that she finally believes she’s lovable, even when she’s fully herself.

That’s the heartbeat of secure attachment:
Being known, being accepted, and realizing that love doesn’t disappear when you show up as the real you.

From Protection to Connection

By the end of the movie, we see a shift in Jack too. He walks to the back of the plane where Emma is seated and finally begins to open up. As the plane takes off, he admits that he’s deeply afraid of flying.

And what does Emma do? She responds to this reach. She holds him, kisses him, and says, “Keep talking.”

That moment captures what emotional safety feels like — Emma helping him ride out his fear, but not alone.

That’s the essence of secure attachment: emotions met with empathy instead of judgment. Both partners feel safe to be vulnerable, to be themselves, and to know they are loved as they are.

 “Too Much” and “Not Enough”

One of the reasons I appreciate the model of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is that it invites clients to walk into painful emotions they’ve worked hard to avoid, so those emotions can finally heal.

In Stage 2 of EFT, once the negative cycle has been de-escalated, we explore how early experiences shaped people’s views of themselves and others.

Maybe you learned that emotions were “a problem,” and that being emotional made you too much for others — so you learned to stay cheerful or quiet to keep the peace. Over time, you began to believe that vulnerability drives people away.

Or perhaps every time you turned to someone for comfort, you were belittled or ignored. Your nervous system learned there was no safety in reaching for another, so you taught yourself to manage alone.

We carry these working models of ourselves and others — often formed in childhood — into adult relationships. Humans are resourceful and resilient; we find ways to cope, even if those strategies aren’t always healthy or helpful. When these old wounds show up in adult love, they often fuel the negative cycles that distressed couples get stuck in.