4 Ways to Reduce Anxiety on Your Coffee Break

by Restore. Renew. Revive. | Oct 4, 2019 | Anxiety, General

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders affect roughly 40 million people over the age of 18 in the United States. Though these disorders are highly treatable, only 36.9% of those with anxiety seek treatment. Perhaps this is because of busy schedules or a lack of insurance that causes so many people with anxiety to suffer in silence.

But there are proven strategies you can do that don’t cost a penny and take little time. In fact, you could do any of the following strategies on your lunch or coffee break. Here are some ways to reduce your anxiety:

Breathe Deeply

According to a study published by the Journal of Emergency Medicine, 30% of people who go to the ER with complaints of chest pain and no evidence of coronary artery disease are actually suffering from a panic attack. Why is this so common?

When we are stressed or anxious, we tend to over-breathe or under-breathe. This can cause dizziness and hyperventilation. Deep breathing is a powerful way to gain control over your breath and reaction to a panic attack. Studies show taking slow, deep, breaths soothes our nervous system and increases brain activity. And you almost immediately feel a calm settle over you. Try it for yourself.

Try Listening Meditation

One way to get your mind to settle down is to meditate. And one of the easiest ways to meditate is to practice listening meditation. This is exactly what is sounds like. Sit quietly, eyes closed, and begin to listen to the ambient sounds in the room. What do you hear? Buzzing lights? A fan? Someone cough? Birds outside? A lawnmower? Just be aware of all the sounds and try and expand that awareness to hear as much as possible. This form of meditation is fun and effective, because you cannot possibly listen, truly listen, and think at the same time.

Take a Walk

Nervous energy needs to go somewhere – it has to be burned. Taking a 15- minute walk around the block can be a great way to get rid of this energy while breathing deeply. As a bonus, your body releases feel-good chemicals like endorphins when you exercise.

Don’t Drink Coffee

Yes, I am asking you on your coffee break to not drink coffee. Or soda. Caffeine and sugar can exacerbate anxiety by making us feel jittery and nervous. You are far better off sticking with water.

I hope you will give these anxiety-busting strategies a try. If you feel they are not helping as much as you need and you would like to speak with someone, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to speak a bout treatment options with you.

Three Polite Ways for Introverts to Leave a Party Early

by Restore. Renew. Revive. | Sep 27, 2019 | Anxiety, Self-Esteem

Many introverts don’t find large social gatherings all that appealing. The idea of making small talk with a room full of strangers can feel draining rather than energizing. Still, there are times when showing up is unavoidable or it feels important to connect socially. If you’re someone who prefers the quiet of home over a crowded room, or enjoys deep conversations over small talk, perhaps the the best thing about a party is leaving it. For those moments where you have to (or want to) attend a large social gathering, here are three ways to make a smooth and timely exit.

1. Tell The Host in Advance

One polite way to leave a party early is to set boundaries ahead of time. When you reply to accept the invitation, let the host know that you plan to stay for only a set amount of time. If it’s a less formal affair, you can let the host know when you arrive that you have to leave early. That way when it’s time to go, they won’t be surprised.

2. Warm Thank-You Exit

The Warm Thank-You Exit allows you to express your appreciation to the host(ess), and doesn’t require you to invent an excuse. People can usually sense when an excuse is made up, and even if they don’t call it out, it can create unnecessary awkwardness between the two of you. A simple, warm goodbye maintains trust and sincerity in your relationships.

Try Saying: “This was such a fun night—I always love spending time with you. I’m going to head out.” or “I’ve had such a wonderful time catching up with everyone, but I should get going. Thank you for everything—it was a lovely evening!”

3. The Authenic Exit

Being able to be kind to ourselves and authentic is key for introverts to be able to stretch themselves outside of their comfort zone. While it’s not always easy to be transparent, openly saying that you’re out of social energy can be a great way to leave a gathering while setting a healthy boundary and normalizing emotional self-awareness. The key is to phrase it in a way that feels sincere and warm so it doesn’t come across as dismissive or abrupt.

Try Saying: “You’ve done such a lovely job of hosting. I can feel myself winding down, so I’m going to head out. Thanks for a wonderful evening!” or “I can feel my social battery running low, and I’d rather leave on a high note. This was so much fun—thank you for having me!”

Other introvert success strategies for navigating social situations :

Charge your Battery

Consider clearing your calendar of extra obligations on the day of and the day after the event. Giving yourself time to recharge can help you feel less drained and more prepared to handle social interactions.

Use Your Introvert Superpower

Introverts often thrive in deep, authentic conversations—it’s the small talk that tends to feel exhausting. Instead of forcing chit-chat, seek out someone who genuinely interests you and take the opportunity to connect on a deeper level. Introverts are typically great listeners and skilled at asking thoughtful questions, so use this superpower to make or strengthen a meaningful connection.

Navigating social events as an introvert doesn’t have to be overwhelming. With the right strategies—like planning your exit, giving yourself time to recharge, and leaning into meaningful conversations—you can make social gatherings more manageable (and maybe even enjoyable). Remember, you don’t have to change who you are to feel comfortable in social settings; you just need the right approach.

ps. I found these lists of ’18 Amazing Inventions for Introverts‘ and ‘7 Ingenious Introvert Apps Someone Needs to Create’ hilarious!

If you’re looking for more ideas to deal with anxiety this blog might be of help.

If you’re a fellow introvert looking for support in navigating social situations with more confidence, call my office today to schedule a time to talk—I’d love to support you on your journey

How To Nurture Your Mental Wellness

by Restore. Renew. Revive. | Aug 23, 2019 | Anxiety, Emotions, Finding Appropriate Help, General, Mindfulness

The World Health Organization describes mental wellness “as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community”.

When we talk about mental wellness, we’re not just talking about the the absence of disease or a clinical diagnosis.

It encompasses so much more.

Are you living your life to the fullest, in alignment with what is most important to you and in such a way that it positively impacts others around you. That is mental wellness.

Here are some ways you can work towards mental wellness, even starting today.

1. Set Boundaries

Boundaries are the limits we put in place to make clear what is ‘our stuff’ and what is someone else’s. Having healthy boundaries is a crucial part of mental wellness because it allows us to set limits on what we will (or won’t) accept in terms of behaviour from others and how much time, resources, energy we are willing to devote to certain situations.

Boundaries protect us from taking on burdens that are not ours to carry and from developing resentment towards another person. Healthy boundaries allow us to be in relationship with others without becoming burnt out and exhausted.

Maybe you find yourself consistently doing things you know you don’t want to do to avoid conflict, to please others or to fit in. I’ve found this book Boundaries to be so helpful in figuring this out. (Note: There are some Christian references in this so if that isn’t a fit for you, skip the book)

2. Be In The Moment

How often have you found yourself being somewhere physically, but mentally your somewhere else, distracted by all the ‘stuff’ of life? You can hardly enjoy the experience you are having, even if it is one you have been longing for, because your thought life is carrying you away.

Research show that when we can remaining in the present moment we experience lower levels of perceived stress, anxiety and depression, improved mood, and a sense of improved well-being. Results of the study confirmed that those with greater present-moment awareness responded to stress more often with a greater perceived ability to handle things by relying on core values to navigate the stressful situation.

To experiment with this practice, notice every time you are intending to do one thing (read to your kids or have a conversation with your spouse) but are simultaneously doing something else (thinking of an argument you had with your mother or the list of things you need to do before the end of the day).

When you notice that your mind has pulled you away from the moment, gently let the though go, and with intention turn back to what you were doing. You may need to repeat this several times. This is called ‘the practice of being in the present moment’, and much like going to the gym, it takes repetition before it becomes a habit.

3. Eat Healthy

Eating healthy is a vital part of positive mental health. Eating a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, lean protein and whole grains will slowly release energy into your bloodstream, creating a consistent level of energy that won’t leave you feeling tired or sluggish. Eating healthy will also provide a mental boost because you’ll feel good about your healthy food choices.

4. Sunshine

Sunshine is a great way to boost your mood. Put on some comfortable walking shoes and take a leisurely walk around your neighborhood, or a local park. Exposure to sunlight will help your brain release serotonin which will boost your mood, and help you feel more calm and focused.

5. Get Some Sleep

A good night’s sleep is a vital part of a healthy lifestyle. When you’re well rested, you’re naturally energized. Regular sleep also boosts your immune system as well as your cognitive and mental health.

You have the power to improve your mood. By making some healthy additions to your daily routines, you can develop regular habits that will improve your overall mental well-being.

5 Ways to Cope with Anxiety as a Mom

by Restore. Renew. Revive. | Aug 9, 2019 | Anxiety, Emotions, Motherhood, Parenting

If you’ve been a mom for any length of time, you know how unpredictable and overwhelming it can be.

Remember those pre-kids days where you could plan your schedule and knew you could get you work done?

The ‘good ‘ol days’ when you never had to deal with your agenda being derailed by an epic bout of the stomach flu that has been going around daycare.

Maybe this sounds familiar…..

You’ve got a to do list longer than your arm but you haven’t had a solid night of sleep in weeks. This vague, unsettled feeling is showing up in your body and nagging worries keep popping up in your mind, causing you to feel edgy, anxious and irritable.

You can’t quite put your finger on what’s wrong, but you know your fuse is way shorter than usual.

This is such an normal response to the unrelenting demands and sometimes overwhelming challenges of motherhood.

But you know you don’t want to be an irritable, angry mom.

And you know how important it is for your kids’ emotional health to be emotionally steady so you can help them with their big feelings too.

So, what can you do?

5 tips to help you cope with anxiety

1. Schedule a Worry Time

Part of what makes motherhood feel so overwhelming is the sheer number of decisions you have to make. It can seem like there is always one more problem that needs to be solved.

It’s so easy to get lost in our minds, thinking through these situations, over and over.

But, if we’re not careful, these ongoing nagging thoughts can shift our mood from calm to anxious.

Interestingly, research shows that scheduling a time to worry, actually serves to decrease anxiety.

A worry time?!? Yep. It works because it allows you to cope more effetively with your worries. Start by setting aside a time each day, 10, 15 or 20 minutes to dig deep into all the challenges and decisions you are facing.

Then, throughout the day, notice when you are getting caught up in worrying. Make a note about it on your phone or in a journal.

After that, turn your focus back to the present moment, setting your worries aside until ‘worry time’ when you can tackle them.

At the end of the time you have set aside, put the list away, and get back to living in the moment. Repeat this daily. Notice if this strategy helps you cope differently with anxiety.

2. Say No

If you’re anything like me, it’s so easy to get caught up feeling like you have to do it all. Mom guilt sucks us in, and before we know it, we’re signing our kids up for every activity, planning extravagant play dates, cooking only whole foods, home cooked meals, and volunteering at school, even when we really want to say ‘no’.

Moms often come to see me asking for help fitting more into their schedule. But, most often, time management isn’t the issue. It’s being over scheduled.

I get it. It’s so hard to let go of the unrealistic pressure and expectations we put on ourselves.

Many years ago, I remember being so upset with myself because I had forgotten to sign my oldest son up for preschool gymnastics. It felt like I had let him down in a serious way. I shake my head now, just thinking about it.

Looking back, it was so much better for me to slow down on my maternity leave, rather than to race around because of the pressure I felt to make sure my kid got the best of everything.

Saying ‘no’ to busyness is not just good for our mental health, it’s good for our kids’ well being too.

3. Get Some Fresh Air

There’s nothing like some fresh air and sunlight to ease anxiety. Put your baby in a stroller and go for a walk around the block or jump in the car and head to a trail or the Halifax Waterfront.

Take your kids to De Wolfe Park or sit on the patio at Chicken Little and share a frozen treat. You can also try your local library.

On that note, have you seen this awesome blog post full of ideas? Some of them are specific to the summer, but I bet you’ll find some useful suggestions for all seasons.

4. Practice Mindfulness Exercises
Motherhood is full of anxiety provoking situations (will my kids turn out OK, are they growing and developing as they should, what if they develop a serious illness, are they fitting in at school, etc.).

Often, women tell me that they had not been particularly anxious before having children, but that since becoming a mom, anxiety has been a constant companion.

Developing a self compassion practice can be especially helpful for this. Try out this audio and see if it resonates with you.

Here’s another experiment to check out and see if it helps you cope with anxiety.

Try breathing in for a count of 4 and breathing out for a count of six. Do this for 8-10 breaths. Then, as you continue to do this, concentrate on five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. This can help calm you when you’re feeling anxiety start to arise.

5. Use Your Support Network
It’s not always easy to ask for help. As moms, we often get the message from social media or even our families and friends that we should be able to balance all the demands of motherhood. And somehow make it look easy. Ya, right.

Because being a mom is a demanding job, having a support network is vital.

Try taking a risk with vulnerability in relationships that feel safe to you. Call a friend or family member who you think will be supportive and encouraging to ask for advice or help. Creating connections is so important in building resilience as a mom.

And if you don’t have a great support network, you are not alone!

Now is the perfect time to cultivate one. Some women find connection at drop in programs, in faith based and community groups or by joining a gym/sports program for themselves.

You might be surprised to learn that women often come to see me simply because they know that I am a safe, non-judgemental person they can be real with.

They know that as a mom I can relate to the struggles that they are facing and that I can support them as they work though their particular challenges.

Experiment with these suggestions and see what difference they make in helping you cope with anxiety.

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