Coping with Working from Home During COVID-19

Coping with Working from Home During COVID-19

by | Apr 3, 2020 | Issues for Women, Motherhood, Stress & Coping, Women's Issues

How many mornings have you shut off that alarm, wishing you could just work from home in your PJs? Well now many of us are getting our wish thanks to COVID-19.

While in theory working from home may seem ideal, the reality for many of us is that it’s, well, kind of a pain. Particularly if you have young children home from school and daycare that you now have to teach and supervise while still keeping productive at work. 

The fact is, this sudden and unexpected disruption to our daily lives has many of us feeling stressed!

Here are some expert tips on coping effectively while working from home.

1. Find a Hideout

If you don’t have a dedicated home office, you’ll want to figure something out. Having the right space at home will help you focus on the task at hand. It will also automatically set boundaries with family and help you cope more effectively while working from home.

Do you have a spare room you can use? Is there an area in your finished basement that could work?

Truth is, the space itself doesn’t have to be too big or fancy; I’ve taken over our basement bathroom that was in the midst of a renovation and moved in a chair, lamp and tv tray to get my work done without interruptions.

 

2. Keep Your Regular Schedule

You may want to treat the next 2-3 weeks as a sort of family vacation, but it’s best if you and the kids stick to your regular routines to help cope effectively while working from home.  That means getting up and going to bed at the same time, showering, getting dressed and having breakfast as you normally would.  Meal planning is a real plus too!

Your kids are also trying to adjust to a new normal. Keeping younger kids on their nap schedule is important, so you can have uninterrupted time to focus on your work while they rest.

If you have older kids, make sure they know what to expect.  Sit down together and plan our your day.  Make sure they know what they can do to keep busy for those times that you are unavailable.

Here is a list of activities to keep them busy while you are getting some work done.

 

3. Focus and Take Breaks

Ever heard of the pomodoro technique?

There are six steps in the original technique:

  1. Decide on the task to be done.
  2. Set the pomodoro timer (traditionally to 25 minutes).
  3. Work on the task.
  4. End work when the timer rings and put a checkmark on a piece of paper.
  5. If you have fewer than four checkmarks, take a short break (3–5 minutes), then go to step 2.
  6. After four pomodoros, take a longer break (15–30 minutes), reset your checkmark count to zero, then go to step 1.

This way of breaking your day up into blocks of focused work and breaks can help increase productivity and keep your kids on track too by giving them only a short time they need to keep themselves busy.  

If you have a partner at home who can switch off ‘kid duties’ with you, try alternating who is doing pomodoros and who is keeping an eye on the kids.  This one hack might be exactly what you need to cope more effectively while working from home.

 

4. Set the Bar Low

You do not have to be the next Mary Poppins!  It is really hard to work at home with your kids out of school and daycare.

No, your house won’t be as tidy as you like.  Now that kids are home 24/7 there is so much more opportunity for messes to be made!

Yes, they will likely have more screen time and junk food than they would ordinarily eat. 

It’s so hard, especially if you lean towards perfectionism, to let things go.  But this is a marathon and not a sprint!  Perfectionism leads to increased stress, self-criticism and emotional exhaustion.   We don’t know how quickly this will all come to an end.

Keep the bar low and learn to practice greater self-compassion, focusing on self-care and prioritize your most important relationships.

 

5. Know When to Quit

Now that there are virtually no boundaries between your work and home life, it is easy to get sucked into working longer hours than you intend.  

Sometimes people use work as a distaction, which, given the current circumstances, might be an easy trap to fall into.  

Other times, people get caught up in their work without the natural  interruptions such as daycare pick ups and afterschool activities that force and end to the work day.

While working from home it’s important to have a set end time and stick to it.  Have a friend or partner hold you accountable if this is something you struggle with.

 

If after reading this you feel that you’d benefit from some additional support with managing the stresses of work/life balance, don’t hestitate to reach out.  I offer free 15 minute consultation appointments so we can make sure we’ll be a good fit.  All of my appointments are being done online through a secure video platform or by phone for people who live anywhere in Nova Scotia.  

 

10 INDEPENDENT ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS WHEN MOM NEEDS A BREAK

10 INDEPENDENT ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS WHEN MOM NEEDS A BREAK

by | Apr 2, 2020 | Motherhood, Parenting, Uncategorized

Life as a mom has always been busy, a bit chaotic and full of challenges, but now it  feels like you are trapped on a hamster wheel, one day rolling into the next and you have a sense of restlessness you just can’t shake.

You feel guilty for giving your kids so much screen time, but you you still need to work, get things done around the house and have some time for yourself.

None of the things you ordinarily do with the kids are relevant; no school, programs, playgrounds or playdates.  

You can’t even escape to Starbucks to be alone and get stuff done. It’s hard to feel at your most creative when you’re in survival mode with no end in site.

Take a look at these 10 ideas to to see which ones might work in your house to help keep your kids busy and create better flow to your day while you’re parenting kids through the COVID pandemic.

These suggestions are most applicable to kids elementary age and older

 

10 INDEPENDENT ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS WHEN MOM NEEDS A BREAK

#10 Map out their day (and yours too)

Giving your kids a sense of structure and predictability. Keeping relatively consistent wake and sleep rhythms and flow to your day will make things go more smoothly.

You can find all kinds of chore charts and daily routine charts on the internet. You can find ones with pictures for kids who can’t read…..pretty, colour co-ordinate charts and more basic ones too. In our house, sticky notes are king. My kids know what to expect for the day by reading a few words I’ve scribbled on a sticky note and then discussed with them.

Make sure they are prepare them for moments in the day where you will be busy and unable to play with them. Maybe you will be doing a special craft or activity later in the day or going for a walk to get fresh air. Help them know what to expect.

One thing that has really helped set an independent morning and nighttime routines with my younger kids is using Chompers.  The kids are (almost) always more eager to brush their teeth and find out what is going on in the latest episode, and I’m pretty confident they’ve brushed for more than 10 seconds. 

parenting routing structure

#9 Get them Moving

Before settling  in to do work or to take some time for yourself, experiment with having them burn of some of their energy first.  

It’s great if you can  take them for a walk in your neighbourhood (keeping your distance of course!), get them to play in the yard or go for a bike ride.  

But if your going to parent effectively through this COVID pandemic, need some time alone right now, try some of these YouTube videos to get them movingnparenting kids through the COVID pandemic.

It seems like everyone knows about Joe Wicks and his fantastic daily workouts

In our house, Adriene is a hit!

She has the most encouraging and engaging way about her in this yoga video with kids. If you haven’t check out her free yoga videos for adults, you definitely need to do that too.

Maybe they just need to “get their beans out” and practice some dance moves for a few minute.

#8 Get Artistic

I am not musical, artistic or crafty, but my younger kids definitely are. I struggle to come up with creative ideas for crafts and definitely can’t drawn anything fancier then a stick person! 

Having another adult lead your kid through an activity can free you up, even for a short block of time, so you can get something productive done.

I’ve been amazed by the creations my kids have made while following Rob through art videos. Art for Kids Hub has both free and paid versions.

Creating a Masterpiece  is a bit of an investment financially ($20 USD/month + supplies) but the results are amazing. It is like having a talented artist come to your home and is especially great for older elementary aged + who like art. 

If your kids are younger this will require supervision, but older kids could definitely do this alone with the video. If you don’t have the supplies on hand for painting, Amazon should carry what you need.

 

If you have a piano at home, why not have your kids lean how to play with the extra time they might have available to them now. Mr. Hoffman is a funny and engaging teacher, even for younger children.

You can have some time to yourself while they learn a new skill. Bonus!

There are both paid and free options.

#7 Get Them Learning A New Language

Rosetta Stone is great for students Primary-12 (free for 3 months)

Duolingo is a free fun app to try out  

 

 

#6 Have Them Dive Into Something Academic

Kids have a question about math you can’t answer?  Or maybe you have older kids that want to learn computer programming in their spare time?

Khan academy is great for older kids, especially middle school and high school and is totally free

Khan Academy App for younger kids to learn math and language arts

Maybe they need some practice with reading, but if you can’t sit with them, Reading Eggs is great fun!

Outschool is a live video learning platform where kids can explore 10,000+ classes taught by a live teacher.

Virtual School Day is a super cool platform where classes are led by celebrities like Mayim Bialik, Aly Raisman, Julianne Hough, and Leland Melvin.

Challenge your kids to learn something new while you go and prep supper, do some work or have a few minutes of time to yourself and then ask them to explain to you what they have learned. Maybe you’ll learn something new too!

#5 Have them listen to an audio book

Reading together can be so much fun, but if you need to get some work done, maybe a loved on can read a book over Skype or FaceTime to your kids while you are in a meeting.

Or you can set them up with an audio book and get busy!

Audible has free books for kids

The Halifax Public Library has talking picture books for younger kids Or audiobooks for older kids

Librivox has a free ‘classics’ that are now in the public domain. We’ve been reading The Railway Children this week

 

#4 Get them into Podcasts

I love listening to podcasts, but I had never considered looking for podcasts for my kids before this past summer. I guess it never occurred to me that they were being created for kids too!  Once I figured that out, they’ve since become a regular part of our day.

Podcasts are great to listen to while kids are colouring, doing puzzles or lego or having some quiet time in their room so you can get some alone time.

Here are a collection of podcasts my younger kids love.

And my teenager votes for these *some may have strong language or more mature themes, so check them out first if this is a concern for you*

#3 Introduce them to animals

The Georgia Aquarium has the live feed of some pretty cute animals 

The Dallas Zoo has a ton of educational ‘Bring the Zoo to You’ videos. We learned a ton of new facts!

And the Denver Zoo has some great Zoo tours

#2 Free Play

Kids can do crafts, read books, do puzzles, colouring or lego independently. They can handwrite a letter to Grandma. If you have more than one child they can play boardgames together.

If you have a porch or deck, you can sit outside and keep an eye on younger kids while working and they play in your driveway or yard.

Younger kids may be able to keep themselves occupied for only short periods of time without a screen. You can help them develop this skill by giving them a specific task to do and working nearby to help keep them on track. As they build this skill they will be able to keep themselves busy for longer stretches of time.

 

#1 Let them have screen time….with looser limits

It is so challenging it is to work from home, maintain the day to day logistics of running a house, ensure your kids are learning something for school and not driving eachother nuts!   Breaking up the day with a few blocks of their favourite video game or TV show is absolutely OK.  Limits are necessary, but being more flexible with the amount of screen time the get is necessary parenting ‘tool’ to get through the  COVID pandemic!

Go easy on yourself if you feel you need to temporarily give your kids more screen time for the short term.  It’s important to contiue caring for yourself and attending to your responsabilities. If that means they watch one more show or spend a few more minutes playing a video game today, it’s ok. Hang in there!  ‘Pandemic parenting’ is tough.

If you’re looking for some helpful tips fo kids 0-3, this might be of use to you.

Ten Tips to Have the Best March Break Ever

Ten Tips to Have the Best March Break Ever

by | Mar 4, 2020 | Anxiety, Motherhood, Parenting

March Break is just around the corner, which we know means added stress, expense, and energy being expended – something we as women have in short supply already. But add in excited kids without their normal structure, the pressure and envy we feel over the perfect family trip everyone else seems to be taking, and our own responsibilities that necessitate staying home over spring break and it feels like we are losing before spring break has even begun.

 Often times we think we need something grand to make March break special, but that is simply untrue. The biggest detriment to having the best spring break ever is the baggage we carry with us – we already struggle to balance all of the things in a routine week; it all threatens to self-destruct when the routine is thrown upside down and social pressure makes us think we need to do more.

Rather than allowing social pressures, an internalized sense of failure, or even simple miscommunication with your kids to cause dread over spring break before it has even begun here are ten tips to help you take back the control and have the best March break ever.

 A little planning and a lot of being intentional can make an at-home March break extraordinary – and maybe even your best spring break ever without adding to your own stress.

 10 tips to have the best March Break ever

 

1. My best tip ever for creating something special for the kids is to ask them what they want
Find out directly from them what spring break means to them and the ideas they hold dear. Often times we as moms are bummed out because we can’t do a Disney trip over March break, while what our kids really want is to eat ice cream for breakfast or to have you play a few rounds of Mario Kart with them.

Note: If your child brings up something they want to do but you can’t make happen, that’s ok! Tell them their idea sounds like a lot of fun and, as best you can to their age, explain why it can’t happen right now and redirect their brainstorming to more realistic ideas.

2. Make a list of your responsibilities during spring break
Whether it’s continual care of an elderly loved one, or a demanding work schedule, or the running of a household, make a list of everything that you need to take care of during March break. Once you have your list assess it honestly – is it all necessary? Is it important enough to be dealt with this week or can it move into another week? Knowing what needs to stay – and what can go! – will free your mind up mentally when you have the kids home during March break. They don’t need you every moment, but the moments they do have you – let them have all of you! And you’ll rest easy knowing you planned for this time with them.

3. Simplify as much as you can
This is definitely piggy backing on number two, but it can’t be emphasized enough – if you want to enjoy your children during spring break your life needs to be simplified. Whatever your normal arrangements are – homeschooling, co-op, or traditional day school, your children’s schedule is going to be vastly different during their spring break and yours should lighten up, too, in order to relax and enjoy this time. Write down your commitments and let go of the mental guilt for what you are letting slide for the week.

 

4. Hire help for the week or trade hours with another mom
Considering hiring help for tasks you need done this week – have a big work commitment you must do but are fighting the guilt of putting the kids in front of the tv? Hire an energetic teen to play with your kids and let go of the guilt knowing your kids are having the time of their life! Or perhaps hiring a house cleaner for the week before would give you greater peace of mind. Think through and consider if paying for a service would enhance your spring break experience with your children. Alternatively, there’s likely a mom in your community in a similar situation to you and you could arrange a trade off of watching each other’s children while the other has a few hours to herself.

5. Scope out some free fun things to do for inexpensive ways to get out of the house
Some of the fun things we know are happening can be found here:

 6. Make up a fun tradition to do with your children every day of March break
You might feel overwhelmed and maxed out, but March break is only five week days long. Five days. You can do anything for five days! Why not add a fun ritual for those five days? It can be something silly like eating breakfast under the table every morning, or maybe hot chocolate with a different board game every day.  Pick something simple that you can sustain every day of spring break, and yet something that it is a little out of the ordinary and will just tickle the heart of your child(ren) and make your heart smile, too.

7.  Try different foods each day
Our family has a tradition of buying a new food item from the grocery store every week and it has been SO much fun to expand our world through food. I would highly recommend you find your own way of making this work for your family. One fun way to adopt this during March break would be to try a different ethnic food each day. You could buy pho from a Vietnamese restaurant for supper one night, and the next day try Tamales from a Mexican restaurant for a snack. If that is a little too adventurous for your family, try a different flavour of potato chips or ice cream each day.

8.  Binge watch a show WITH the kids
Maybe you can watch some favourites from when you were a kid and stir up some nostalgia.  Or ask them what show they’d like to watch with you…and really engage in it with them.  Or plan a family movie night wth great snacks.  These are some of my kids’ best memories.


9.  Head to Micheals or the Dollarama and buy fresh supplies for current interests or hobbies
Everyone loves new pencils, notebooks, colouring books or paints – you know what your child is into and loves. Help feed their interest and breath new life into their hobbies with fresh supplies to use during their school break.

10.  Create a reading basket.
Nurturing a habit of reading is really important in our home, and keeping cozy blankets and baskets of interesting books near couches and chairs encourages the kids to grab a book and flip through it.

Approach March Break with the flexibility life demands but also with the intention of fostering a beautiful and fun week with your kids. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be the best March break ever.

 

5 Ways to Cope with Anxiety as a Mom

5 Ways to Cope with Anxiety as a Mom

by | Aug 9, 2019 | Anxiety, Emotions, Motherhood, Parenting

If you’ve been a mom for any length of time, you know  how unpredictable and overwhelming it can be.   

Remember those pre-kids days where you could plan your schedule and knew you could get you work done?  

The ‘good ‘ol days’ when you never had to deal with  your agenda being derailed by an epic bout of the stomach flu that has been going around daycare.

Maybe this sounds familiar…..

You’ve got a to do list longer than your arm but you haven’t had a solid night of sleep in weeks.  This vague, unsettled feeling is showing up in your body and nagging worries keep popping up in your mind, causing  you to feel edgy, anxious and irritable.

You can’t quite put your finger on what’s wrong, but you know your fuse is way shorter than usual. 

This is such an normal response to the unrelenting demands and sometimes overwhelming challenges of motherhood.

But you know you don’t want to be an irritable, angry mom.

And you know how important it is for your kids’ emotional health to be emotionally steady so you can help them with their big feelings too.

So, what can you do?

 

 5 tips to help you cope with anxiety

1. Schedule a Worry Time

Part of what makes motherhood feel so overwhelming is the sheer number of decisions you have to make.  It can seem like there is always one more problem that needs to be solved.  

It’s so easy to get lost in our minds, thinking through these situations, over and over. 

But, if we’re not careful, these ongoing nagging thoughts  can shift our mood from calm to anxious.

Interestingly, research shows that scheduling a time to worry, actually serves to decrease anxiety.


A worry time?!?  Yep.  It works because it allows you to cope more effetively with your worries.  Start by setting aside a time each day, 10, 15 or 20 minutes to dig deep into all the challenges and decisions you are facing.

Then, throughout the day, notice when you are getting caught up in worrying.  Make a note about it on your phone or in a journal.

After that, turn your focus back to the present moment, setting your worries aside until  ‘worry time’ when you can tackle them. 

At the end of the time you have set aside, put the list away, and get back to living in the moment.  Repeat this daily. Notice if this strategy helps you cope differently with anxiety.

 

2. Say No

If you’re anything like me, it’s so easy to get caught up feeling like you have to do it all.  Mom guilt sucks us in, and before we know it, we’re signing our kids up for every activity, planning extravagant play dates, cooking only whole foods, home cooked meals, and volunteering at school, even when we really want to say ‘no’.

Moms often come to see me asking for help fitting more into their schedule. But, most often, time management isn’t the issue. It’s being over scheduled.

I get it.  It’s so hard to let go of the unrealistic pressure and expectations we put on ourselves.  

Many years ago, I remember being so upset with myself because I had forgotten to sign my oldest son up for preschool gymnastics. It felt like I had let him down in a serious way. I shake my head now, just thinking about it. 

Looking back, it was so much better for me to slow down on my maternity leave, rather than to race around because of the pressure I felt to make sure my kid got the best of everything.

Saying ‘no’ to busyness is not just good for our mental health, it’s good for our kids’ well being too.

3. Get Some Fresh Air

There’s nothing like some fresh air and sunlight to ease anxiety. Put your baby in a stroller and go for a walk around the block or jump in the car and head to a trail or the Halifax Waterfront.

Take your kids to De Wolfe Park or sit on the patio at Chicken Little and share a frozen treat. You can also try your local library.

On that note, have you seen this awesome blog post full of ideas? Some of them are specific to the summer, but I bet you’ll find some useful suggestions for all seasons.

4. Practice Mindfulness Exercises
Motherhood is full of anxiety provoking  situations (will my kids turn out OK, are they growing and developing as they should, what if they develop a serious illness, are they fitting in at school, etc.).  

Often, women tell me that they had not been particularly anxious before having children, but that since becoming a mom, anxiety has been a constant companion.

Developing a self compassion practice can be especially helpful for this.  Try out this audio and see if it resonates with you.

Here’s another experiment to check out and see if it helps you cope with anxiety.

Try breathing in for a count of 4 and breathing out for a count of six.  Do this for 8-10 breaths.  Then, as you continue to do this, concentrate on five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. This can help calm you when you’re feeling anxiety start to arise.

5.  Use Your Support Network
It’s not always easy to ask for help.  As moms, we often get the message from social media or even our families and friends that we should be able to balance all the demands of motherhood. And somehow make it look easy.  Ya, right.

Because being a mom is a demanding job, having a support network is vital.

Try taking a risk with vulnerability in relationships that feel safe to you.  Call a friend or family member who you think will be supportive and encouraging to ask for advice or help. Creating connections is so important in building resilience as a mom.  

And if you don’t have a great support network, you are not alone!  

Now is the perfect time to cultivate one. Some women find connection at  drop in programs, in faith based and community groups or by joining a gym/sports program for themselves.  

You might be surprised to learn that women often come to see me simply because they know that I am a safe, non-judgemental person they can be real with.   

They know that as a mom I can relate to the struggles that they are facing and that I can support them as they work though their particular challenges. 

Experiment with these suggestions and see what difference they make in helping you cope with anxiety.

 

Summer Might Actually be More Stressful Than Winter. Seriously!

Summer Might Actually be More Stressful Than Winter. Seriously!

by | Jul 26, 2019 | Emotions, Mindfulness, Motherhood

If you find summer stressful, you’re not alone.

 

People tend to think about summer as a season for fun, relaxation and as an escape from the dreary cold days of winter.  

 

But there is some interesting research that confirms what so many of my clients tell me; summertime is stressful!

In fact, it actually might be more stressful than wintertime.

This study, done with female medical students, found that cortisol (the “stress hormone”) was higher in the summer than in the winter.  They had the women take saliva samples every 2 hours over a 24 hour period on two separate days in the winter and two separate days in the summer. 

 

While winter was expected to be the more stressful season, the participants’ cortisol levels were highest during the summer dates.

 

Researchers were not exactly sure why the outcome was so counter-intuitive and  they were surprised by the results. 

 

Do you find summer more stressful?

 

5 Reasons Why Summer Can Be More Stressful

 

1. If you are a parent, demands on your time and energy can be higher than during the school year.  You are out of your regular routine.  Childcare can be tricky to co-ordinate (or maybe your kid hates the summer camp you signed them up for).  Parenting guilt can run high.

It’s not uncommon for moms, especially in the summer, to beat themselves up and feel like they are failing their kids because they don’t have the time or energy to be creative and fun.   

 

2. If you’re more introverted, like 25-40% of the population,  feeling the pressure to have a super busy summer social calendar can be exhausting. 

If you’re the kind of person who needs time alone to recharge and prefer connecting in smaller groups over deeper conversations (hello, INFJ!) a busy summer social calendar might feel stressful for you. 

Friends might be wondering why you’re reluctant to plan or attend gatherings and you can easily end up feeling guilty (or just wondering what is wrong with you, since no one else seem to feel this way).

3.  Late nights,  patio drinks, and BBQ food can wreak havoc on your system.  While it sounds amazing in theory, being overtired and full of junk is never a recipe for feeling recharged and refreshed.  

4.  FOMO.  Before the days of social media, we could blissfully relax without thinking we were missing out.  Now thanks to Instagram and Facebook, we have real time images of all the things that are going on without us.  

Whether it is extended family that has gone camping without you or a girls night out  when you are home in your PJs, seeing that we have been excluded can hurt.  It’s easy to get caught up wondering why we were not invited along.

5. Insecurities about our bodies and physical appearance seem to peak in the summer.  There is so much pressure to be ‘beach body ready’ and to find cute summer outfits. It is tough not to get caught up in self criticism and feeling the pressure to look like a different version of ourselves. 

 

Here are a few things you can do to help with summer stress; 

 

1.Make a plan. Whether that is a plan to spend time in solitude, take your kids park or visit with friends and family,  cultivating some direction for your day can be so helpful.  Here are some helpful ways to ditch mom guilt and have some fun with your kids.

 

2. Give yourself permission to say no.  Not everyone is wired the same way.  What is workable for someone else,  might not be for you.  That’s OK!  

 

Being able to say ‘yes’ to things that matter most to you and say ‘no’ or ‘not today’ to things that might contribute to feeling overwhelmed or exhausted, plays an important part in finding greater balance in your life. 

 

3.  Instead of busyness and  rushing around trying to please others and meet their expectations, what about experimenting with mindfulness and being more in the moment.

 

What would it be like for you to intentionally be more present as you are going about your day.

 

I’ve been experimenting this summer with 10 minutes of silence.  

 

Find a quiet place.  

 

Sip your coffee slowly and really notice the taste.

 

Take in any smells around you.  Do the flowers have a scent?

 

Sit on the grass and notice the texture and sensation of the grass on your skin.

 

Notice any thoughts that come into your awareness. Without judgement, let them go and turn back to your mindful focus.

 

Notice what difference this makes.

 

If stillness is a challenge for you, start with shorter periods of time. 

If this still feels uncomfortable, which can be especially true for people with a history or trauma, try mindful movement like walking or stretching. Pay attention and engage all your senses while you do some movement. 

 

4. Learn to find greater compassion for yourself.  It’s perfectly natural that if you see people having fun without you that it would being up feelings or envy, sadness or loneliness.  Why not try experimenting with self-compassion? 

 

One way to begin to develop greater compassion and kindness for yourself is through a loving-kindness meditation.  Here are 18 Reasons why this practice can be helpful, including reducing self-criticism and depressive symptoms, and improving self-compassion and positive emotions. 

 

 

 

If you feel like you need some more help managing your emotions and schedule this summer, so you can be the kind of mom you want to be, let’s connect. You can book a free 15 minute consultation online or call Stephanie at (902) 702-7722 to schedule an appointment.

 

All my best,

 

Marcy

15 Ideas To Help You Ditch Mom Guilt And Kid Boredom This Summer

15 Ideas To Help You Ditch Mom Guilt And Kid Boredom This Summer

by | Jul 19, 2019 | Motherhood

Confession: There is somthing about summer that stirs up my mom guilt.  It’s not that I don’t love more time with my kids. I do.  But it’s the way things can spiral so quickly when I don’t have a plan and end up so far from the summer fantasies I have.

 

You see, all year long I think about summer vacation. You too?

 

Less driving and fewer schedules to follow.

 

I fantasize about lazy days in the sun without the pressures of the school year.

 

But unfortunately, when holidays start, the first few weeks can be a bit bumpy while we all try to find our balance. I can easily wind up feeling discouraged and overwhelmed, wondering how I will get through the 8 weeks that loom ahead of me.

 

Perhaps for you it plays out in your life like this…

 

 

 

6am: Kid: Mom….can I have Fortnite?
Mom (still sleeping): No, not this morning.
7am: Mom… can I have Fortnite?
Mom: No, not this morning. Let’s do something else…
7:30am: Mom… can I have Fortnite? We aren’t doing anything yet.
Mom: No, not this morning. I’d really like to do something with you….
7:45am: Mom….can I have Fortnite?
Mom: Where is the number for the guy that created this video game so I can call him and give him a piece of my mind… Now, what on earth can we do to have fun together…

 

Or maybe this just happens at my house……

 

But in all seriousness, this month in my practice, I have been strategizing with so many moms about how to keep living in line with their values (usually things like, patience, kindness, fun and love) while their munchkins are home with them this summer.

 

 If you are anything like the moms I work with, long summer days with kids at home and a routine is way less structured than during the school year can be a recipe for mom guilt.  

 

 You know that nasty feeling that is so easy to get caught up in after becoming cranky with your kids or realizing they have played way to many hours of video games this week (because planning can be a lot of work).  

 

2 Truths to Hold on to

 

1) Your kids need you to be “good enough”, not perfect.  In fact, way back in 1953, Donald Winicott, a British pediatrician and psychoanalyst observed thousands of babies and their mothers.  He came to realize that babies and children actually benefit when their mothers fail them in manageable ways. (like spending a beautiful summer day inside folding laundry and cleaning bathrooms).  So next time your kids complain that they are bored and there is nothing to do, you can remind yourself you’re benefiting them by failing them in a small way *wink*

 

2) Sometimes it just takes a little spark of creativity to help us reconnect with our values.  A little inspiration to stir us and help use reconnect with the kind of mom we want to be.   Stephanie (my awsome assistant) and I complied this list and offer it to you as a way to jumpstart your summer. 

 

Here are our TOP 15 IDEAS AND TIPS

 

Preschool and Younger

 

1. Pack the buckets, sand toys, towels, drinks and snacks and head to a nearby beach – preferably one that has a gradual slope to the water… Sometimes it seems like nothing can make your young ones happier than splashing in water and digging in the sand. No need to spend energy inventing fun once at the beach!

 

 2. Invest in a bike trailer (Kijiji or Facebook Marketplace are great places to pick up one affordably) and explore the nearby trails. Head to the Salt Marsh or the BLT Trails to enjoy the fresh air and the scenery. This is a great way to get exercise while making your children feel like royalty in their chariot. Plan for frequent stop requests as an animal or rock catches their eye.

 

 3. On rainy days, you can have great fun with your little ones by building indoor forts using pillows, blankets, tables or anything the kids want to include. Extend the fun by having snacks and reading books in the fort. Often, once the fort has been built, you can get your own work done while the kids imaginations continue to create their own fun in and around the fort.

 

 4. Visit a new playground at least once a week. It is amazing how excited this age group can get when you tell them the outing today is going to a new playground. Suddenly, you’re the best Mom. Use this list from FamilyFunCanada to make finding the next new playground easier.

 

 5. Is there just too much work to be done some days for you to leave the house? Don’t worry. Just get out some buckets, bins or whatever containers you have and fill them with water. If you have a sprinkler – that would be great too. Supply your kids with funnels, measuring cups, rags and maybe some floating toys and they will be squealing with laughter – especially if you let them get you wet near the beginning of their play.

 

Elementary School Aged Kids

 

6. Check out the Public Library. You might be familiar with their summer reading program, but did you know they have a ton of great programs (like mini-chefs cooking, Bright Labs STEM classes, SuperNova Science) ALL FOR FREE! My kiddo did a 2 hour!! button (think 90s style badge) making class last week. She loved it! Grab a coffee and a book (or your fav podcast) and chill at the library while your kids learn some cool things.

 

 7.  Check out the beaches at local lakes and oceanfront. Pack a picnic and some shovels and sunscreen and chill out at one of the more than 19 supervised beach locations throughout Halifax.

 

 8. Take your exercise outside WITH you kids. It can be so hard for me to carve out kid free time to exercise in the summer months. You too? It occurred to me the other day as one of my kiddos scootered after me on my run that I should drop the struggle and include them in my exercise time more over the summer. That way we can all come back sweaty and ready for a run through the sprinkler.

 

 9. Have you ever been to Long Lake Provincial Park? This is a new favourite of ours! With bike/walking trails, swimming and kid friendly kayak and paddle board rentals, it is so fun!

 

 10. Try a new recipe. My kiddos love cooking but I am not a huge fan of clean up. Making banana ice cream (seriously. It is delicious) in our food processor is a win-win.

 

 11. Movie Nights….well, ok these can be done any time of the year, but last week we realized how long it had been since all 5 of us watched a movie at home together. The school year usually has at least one of our crew off running in a different direction. I bet this happens in your house too. Everyone from my terrific teen to down to the super seven year old loved being together watching and snacking.

 

 12. Spend some time at the Halifax Emera Oval. With free gear rentals, they have you and your kiddos covered.

 

 13. Have you been to the new Discovery Centre? Wednesday nights are free!  What better place to go in rainy or crazy hot weather, so your kids aren’t cooped up in the house. You can all learn something new.

 

 14. Bet you didn’t consider an outing to Pier 21 and the Seaport Farmers Market as a great rainy day combo? Spend the morning exploring the exhibits in the museum and then head next door to the Farmers Market to browse and find some lunch. There are always delicious eats to be had and you can pick up some yummies for supper too!

 

 15. Explore the Bedford Waterfront and let your kids play at the recently rebuilt DeWolf Park. This is our favourite spot on hot, muggy days as the breeze from the basin is amazing. On your way home pop by Chicken Little (behind the Chicken Burger) for an ice cream cone. They usually have dairy free soft serve too for anyone who is allergic or is avoiding dairy. Yum!

 

 Bonus:  Podcasts for kids.  We just discovered this one on a long drive, but it would be equally good for a day that you want to curl up on the couch.

 

 Yes, its true you may feel like summer requires more effort and planning and your kids may still ask endlessly for Fortnite…. but, my guess is you’ll feel like you’ve been more like the kind of mom you want to be, and made memories that will last you all for a long time to come.

 

 If you feel like you need some more help managing your emotions and schedule this summer, so you can be the kind of mom you want to be, let’s connect. You can book a free 15 minute consultation online or call Stephanie at (902) 702-7722 to schedule an appointment. 

 

All my best,

 

 Marcy

 

Pin It on Pinterest